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Week of 7.5.2009
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Ron Cruger the_spectator001032.gif the_spectator001031.jpg
the_spectator001030.jpg the_spectator001029.jpg the_spectator001027.jpg Jeanne
Carbone
Homeless in America
A Crime of Opportunity
Merry Kwanzaa
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Results of last week's question -
Should American troops pull out of Iraq this year?

Yes - 80%
No - 20%
Contributing Writers
the_spectator001022.jpg Leah
Lieberman
About Money
About War
More humor is needed
Click here to read the full story
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the_spectator001019.jpg Jocelyn
Fujii
The word that says it all
The Art of Fun
Confessions
of a Germophobe
Bill Barth the_spectator001018.jpg the_spectator001015.jpg Norm
Blackburn
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We did what we were supposed to do
Bleeding Dodger Blue
Side effects may include...
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We thought you might be interested in seeing the cities and areas in which readers of SpectatorRon.com are located. Click the link below to see an updated list of areas in which readers have recently contacted the site, mostly with appreciation of the contents.
Readers around the World
Readers by City
the_spectator001009.jpg John Nippolt Fern Gavelek the_spectator001008.jpg Carl Golod the_spectator001007.jpg
My Chevy Memories
   Driving down to the freeway, I passed by a restaurant that has old car shows every Tuesday afternoon, and was immediately carried back to my first car. I spied it from the street and pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, and there it was, a 1953 Chevy Bel-Air 4 door sedan, in Driftwood Grey with whitewall tires.
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"The President would like to meet you"
    The daily newspaper in Oregon City, Oregon didn’t have a large circulation, but it was a well thought of publication in its area – near Portland. It had thousands of loyal readers and an excellent staff of reporters and support staff.
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Keep the pessimism in check
   Let’s run through the litany of all the terrible things weighing down on people.
   Start with two wars. Even in the rosiest assessments, troops will be in Iraq for years. Afghanistan watched the Brits and the Soviets break against the mountainous terrain and ungovernable population. Will America be next? And then there’s Pakistan.
Our new puppy
   We call her Sweet Pea—named after Popeye’s cherished cartoon baby. She is our new baby too—though of the canine kind. A Brittany beastie baby, she’s got long gams and emerging teeth that pierce through every material known to man. I love the freckles on her pink paws.
























Be careful what you ask for
    Why would anyone want to become a teacher?
    During my earlier years toiling as a framing carpenter, I noticed the different types of ornamentation on many of the homes I worked on.
    The demand for a wide variety of creative work ordered on a regular basis got me thinking. I knew I could design and fabricate most of the architectural embellishments that were needed.
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            Of course I can’t relate to suicide bombers. I would have a hard time listening to my “block warden” or whatever they call Islamic terrorist generals as he explained to me how wonderful it is to strap on twenty five or thirty pounds of ultra sensitive dynamite and handed a small button which, when pushed, will signal the end of my body as I’ve grown to know it.

            “By exploding the dynamite and blowing yourself to bits you will be held in good stead by God and you will insure a quick and pleasant trip to heaven, where we will arrange to have sixty or seventy virgins waiting for you. What do you say?”

            “I’ll tell you what I say, general. This is craziness. If you think I’m going to put on that dumb jacket with all those sticks of dynamite sewn into it you’re nuts. As far as the sixty or seventy virgins waiting for me, tell them to go about their business, I don’t plan on meeting with them anytime soon.”

            The general, whose official title is “Commander of Suicide Bombers and Director of Root Canals” for Al Qaeda, offered further incentives to his reluctant combatant.

            “Look, if you will agree to wear the dynamite and explode yourself all over the farmer’s market we will give you twenty five thousand dollars in addition to the sixty or seventy virgins which you will meet later.”

            “Nope. I’ve always had this dream of dying with my arms, legs, uvula, lips and scalp in one piece. Keep your money, keep the virgins.”

            Like I said, I can’t relate to anyone who volunteers to have their body minced and then have their last words spoken over their remains which reside in a small plastic sandwich bag.

           

           

 

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