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Sans Hair
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The Spectator
founded 2004 by ron cruger
A place for intelligent writers
A place for intelligent readers
 by Frank Shortt
2017 Spectator Ron - The Spectator All Rights Reserved
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As a man grows older, funny things begin to happen to his system. Whereas his nose used to smell and his feet were for running, he now experiences the opposite. The thing, that bugs most men the worst, is baldness!

A single hair goes through a life cycle, and will eventually fall out on its own. This natural process can result in losing 50 to 150 hairs each day. These lost hairs are replaced by more healthy hairs as time goes on. Some men lose more than others due to overstress, illness, heredity, and hormonal imbalance. Illnesses, such as lupus, arthritis, and diabetes can trigger hair loss. So what is the poor, overly prideful, man to do?

Nutrients, for our whole body, are carried by the blood stream. When a part of the body stops receiving the life-giving nutrients of the blood, that part becomes affected. It is somewhat like tying a string tightly around your finger. That finger will eventually turn blue and if the string is left long enough the finger falls off. It has been said that as we grow older, less blood goes up to the scalp. (On a side note, this reminds me of the ‘string’ that has been tied around the United States, the richest country in the world!) Every time any small thing arises, there must be a new law enacted to compensate for the small thing!

So, one must assume that lack of body nutrients brings ugly warts, moles, wrinkles, hair loss, etc. These things creep upon the unwary soul as they sleep. Men have tried all kinds of diets, fad medicines, tonics, and a host of other things to prevent their receding hair line. One man I know used to hang by his knees from the school play equipment thinking that enough blood would go to his head in order to replace his thinning hair. Another man used to stand on his head in a corner for quite a spell to achieve the same thing. Alas, the three of us became like the proverbial cueball!

The hair on my head has taken wings! I don’t drink enough milk. I try to eat foods rich in calcium, but probably not enough to regrow hair. My nails grow at the fastest pace. My beard continues to sprout out quickly so that I cannot stay clean shaven and long ugly hairs grow in my nose and ears and other places. It is as if someone planted hair seeds on my body. But at last count, no hairs on my bald pate!

In Spanish a baldheaded man is known as Hombre Calvo. In Portuguese it is Homem Careca. In French it is Homme Chauve. In German it is Glatzkopfiger Mann. In Japanese it is Hage Otoko. In Hindu it is Ganja Aadamee. In Chinese it is Guangtou Nanzi. In Hawaiian it is Ohule Kanaka.

No matter how it is pronounced, it will not grow one follicle of hair. I tried a sweep-over for a few years until one day the wind caught it and produced quite a sight for all who saw me. My daughter said, “Dad, why don’t you just give this up and get a G.I.?” I did, and what a relief from all the stress of carefully washing, using sprays to keep the sweep-over in place, and all the other work it took to try to look young. Some folks didn’t recognize me at first at my job, but soon they became used to the new employee.

The man who finally finds the ‘True Cure’ for baldness will be one of the richest men in the world. There are things that doctors will recommend, but all the side effects are not even worth the risk!